


Our Best Shot

by Ohsoverysensible



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Light Angst, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-27
Updated: 2014-05-29
Packaged: 2018-01-20 23:05:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,859
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1529063
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ohsoverysensible/pseuds/Ohsoverysensible
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A fic that extends and expands Female Shepard and Garrus on top of the Presidium.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Ease on the Presidium

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was about time Garrus and Shepard had a date. A real one, far away from business. When Garrus sent Shepard a message that they should meet next time they docked at the Citadel, she didn't really know what to expect. But all she really wanted was some time with him.

“If you’re feeling up to it, I thought we could do something fun for a change.”

Shepard smiled, tilting her head slightly and feeling the sudden urge to slide her hands awkwardly into her pockets. Garrus was always in his armour; it was like his second skin. But for a little downtime on the Citadel, Shepard had decided to throw on her old N7 hoodie, and meander around like a (sort of) civilian. Garrus’s email invite hadn’t sounded like a date, or like a fine night out, but he still looked better in his armour than she did in her ratty sweater.

“I’m glad you came,” Garrus said as Shepard walked slowly towards him. He pushed himself out of his leaning position on a skycar and closed the distance between them.

“What did you have in mind?” Shepard asked, smirking. She always smirked with him. Throughout their relationship there was rarely a smile and never a frown, but always a little turned up, cheeky grin that sometimes blossomed into full on joy.

“Something that doesn’t involve fighting Reapers,” Garrus told her.

“I don’t think they’ve conquered the bar yet,” Shepard joked, making Garrus tilt his head the same way she did. Shepard never counted herself as funny. Witty and amusing sometimes, perhaps, but she was always too ready to be kind or too willing to be a shoulder to cry on. It was so rare that she could play at witty banter and jokes. But with Garrus, that was sometimes all it ever was. Witty banter, little mockeries, and incredible sexual tension.

“I already scoped it out,” Garrus said, shifting his weight from foot to foot. He didn’t know it, but Shepard loved to pin down each and every one of his little habits. If he was shuffling, like he was now, it was usually out of nervous excitement. He was always so cool and calm—suave—but every now and then his facade would crack, and she would see his sweetness. She was anxiously awaiting that.

“But then I thought,” Garrus went on, “if this was my last day alive, I’d actually like to remember it.”

“So?” Shepard said, crossing her arms and staring up at him. She wasn’t short, but he was quite tall, and she loved that.

“So,” Garrus began cheekily, his voice tilting dangerously to baritone, “I had an idea.” He turned and walked back towards the skycar, Shepard following bashfully behind, watching him intently. It was hard not to watch Garrus like a hawk. Shepard had first seen a Turian when she was 17, a Salarian shortly after, and an Asari when she entered the military. Even while being in the Navy for years, she loved watching aliens. There was always something to notice, to learn, to catch. Seeing someone so humanoid, and yet not, always gave her a strange thrill.

Shepard watched Garrus type something into the console, stepping closer and closer to him as he did so, and a skycar opened up with a woosh. Garrus extended his hand. “Ladies first,” he said.

“I don’t get to drive?” Shepard jokingly complained.

“I’ve been in a skycar with you driving,” Garrus said. “I’d like to keep my lunch down if you don’t mind.”

Shepard rolled her eyes but obeyed, climbing in and scooting over. Garrus’s armour clinked as he got in after her, starting up the car and checking all around before taking off. Shepard had to admit, he was a good driver, definitely better than she was.

“You know, no one ever taught me to drive a skycar,” she said as Garrus expertly piloted his way around the Citadel.

“It shows,” he joked.

“Stop,” said Shepard half-heartedly. She was rewarded with one of his low, breathy chuckles. “Where we going?” she asked as Garrus sped up.

“Somewhere we’re not supposed to,” he said, keeping his eyes away from hers.

“Now you’re talkin,” Shepard said, leaning back and smirking as she looked out the window. Everything rushed by in a blur of white and silver, splashes of blue and green giving hints to their whereabouts. She thought she saw the commons below, uselessly looking to see if she could recognize anyone, but they were too high up and going too fast.

“Ever have that one thing you always wanted to do before you die, Shepard?” Garrus asked after a short silence.

“I’ve woken up with a Turian next to me,” Shepard said, layering something like sensuality into her voice. She looked over at him and was happy and surprised to see him eyeing her as well.

“Still trying to make me blush, huh?” he said, trying to match the bravery in her tone.

“Until it works,” Shepard said. “So what’s you’re one thing?”

“The whole time I worked at C-Sec, I’d stare up at at the top of the Presidium and say to myself, I want to go up there. But I never did. There were 137 regulations telling me I couldn’t.”

“So you got them changed?” Shepard asked, although it sounded almost like a statement. If ever there was anyone who could bully or convince their way into changing 137 C-Sec regs, she’d bet on Garrus Vakarian.

“No,” Garrus said. “Now I just don’t give a damn.” Shepard’s smirk grew wider, pushing her cheek high.

The rest of the journey was quiet and short. Shepard didn’t ask any questions as Garrus sped higher and higher, right to the top of the Presidium, like he’d wanted. He parked on a strong beam, setting the skycar down smoothly, and jumping out as fast as he could. “Figured it’s time to do something stupid just for the hell of it,” he said, looking out over the Citadel with clear awe in his eyes. “Might be the last chance we ever get.”

As Shepard got out of the car she remembered a trip to the Grand Canyon when she was very young. It was so rare that she was on Earth, especially with the whole family together. When they arrived she could only see a tiny amount of the vast canyon, but when the car had stopped, she’d leapt out eagerly just as Garrus had. The space was wide, impossibly so, and the air was hot and dry. Shepard could remember the strength of the wind, and the incredible sensation that she, standing there on the edge of the canyon, was nothing more than a speck. She was humbled again standing at the top of the Presidium. Instead of orange-brown rock and deep, long caverns, the Citadel was wide and open and bright. Nothing was hidden here; she could see everything in plain view as if she were flying above it all. Skycars came and went, flitting over them almost non-stop, and yet it felt so quiet. Sometimes it was nice to feel insignificant, especially in a world where so many things were riding on her.

“It’s incredible,” Shepard said, coming to stand next to Garrus while butterflies started in her stomach. Was it the height? The view? Or being this alone with Garrus for the first time in her life?

“I’d be lying if I said I didn’t hope it would inspire a certain…mood,” Garrus admitted, turning his entire body to face hers. He came closer, and Shepard was suddenly very aware of his presence, as well as the precipice they stood on.

She shifted her position until she stood facing him, trying to stare him down as best as she could. They were both so intent on keeping up this game of flirty banter, and she’d be damned if she broke first. “Something on your mind?” she posed.

To her surprise, Garrus looked down in an almost bashful way. “It seemed like you needed time to…figure us out,” he said, stepping forward again. He looked over the Presidium a moment before finding the strength to look back to her wide eyes. “Are you ready to be a one Turian kind of woman?” He still sounded confident, seemingly sure that she’d say yes, but also terrified of a no.

She never imagined that Garrus had doubts. He was always too confident and determined to let anything bring him down. Anytime she'd seen him falter had been over her, which was both concerning and flattering, and now he seemed so unsure of himself. Of this moment. How he could ever doubt her feelings was beyond her.

Shepard smiled sincerely.

“The only thing that made leaving Earth bearable was knowing that you were somewhere out there,” she said. The words didn’t sound like her own, not after all the playfulness their relationship had been lately, but this was the realest thing she’d let herself feel in a long time.

“I feel the same way,” Garrus said. Hearing him say ‘I feel’ was like a treat to Shepard. He took a steadying breath. “The worst part about the galaxy going to hell would have been never getting to see you again.” Garrus looked down, but just slightly, letting his eyes bore the most fantastic holes into her own. Those words in that voice from that face had the power to make her knees feel weak. Commander Shepard, N7 and Spectre, hadn’t felt her knees go weak since a crush in the 11th grade.

Shepard swallowed, her throat dry. “Well here I am,” she said coming forward, practically into his arms. “Exactly where I wanna be.” Adrenaline pumping, she reached out and put her hands on his chest. The breastplate of his armour was cold, but she liked to think his skin was warming up. “I love you, Garrus Vakarian,” she said, and her voice was stronger and more determined than she thought it could be in a moment like this.

Garrus hesitated, as if he wanted her words to hover in the air for as long as he could. “Wow. The vids Joker gave me, well…they never got this far.” He gave a nervous, breathy laugh, and once again Shepard found herself smiling for real. “There was the part about sleeping together but this is…I don’t know exactly what to—”

Shepard pushed herself up on her toes just enough to reach his mouth with hers. Kissing Garrus was always such an interesting sensation. There was no softness or wetness like with a human kiss, but there was strength and stability. Every kiss they’d ever shared left Shepard wondering, if only vaguely, whether Turians even kissed. She’d always been too afraid to ask, but Garrus had always seemed willing and ready. He’d never flinched or hesitated, or asked why she wanted to kiss him in the first place. Kissing Garrus made Shepard feel like, for once, there was something she could truly control. Sometimes it felt like all he had to do was present his face. There wasn’t much movement he could do. But she still loved it, and she loved the flustered sputterings one little peck could send Garrus into.

“Who needs a vid when you’ve got me?” Shepard said gently, pulling slowly away and giving that well known smirk once more. She was prepared for his nervousness, the crack in his defences, but her heart hammered ever faster when she felt his hands on her waist and his foot at her knee. He knocked her balance down, catching her expertly, and dipped her at the very top of the Citadel for all to see. Staring into his eyes, past his sniper eye piece, there was nothing else, and he knew it too. He leaned in and for once initiated the kiss. Shepard closed her eyes and held tight to his arms, bringing one hand to his scarred face, feeling the strange combination of smoothness and roughness. He hoisted her up as easily as he’d knocked her down, making her give a very unusual little giggle. His hands slid off her waist slowly, lingering just long enough for her to know how much he loved to hold her. But he still scurried away, leaving Shepard with another mini-grin.

Garrus walked over to the skycar and pulled out a white cooler-box and his sniper-rifle, making Shepard cock her head in confusion. “Now, before we head back,” Garrus said, his voice purring like he was issuing a threat, “ there is one thing we’re going to settle. Once and for all.” He turned and gave her a rueful glance. “Not saying you don’t know how to handle a gun, just saying some of us know how to make it dance.” Garrus threw the rifle her way and she caught it as the scope opened up in her hands. “So let’s find out whose really the best shot.” Garrus held up a bottle of booze and gave his equivalent to a tiny smile.

Shepard chuckled, holding the rifle like the expert she was. She hadn’t spent years in Infiltrator training becoming a bad sniper. In fact, she was one of the best. It was how she and Garrus had initially bonded, but that was a memory she’d need to give more time to. “There are a few people in the galaxy who’ve seen me in action, Garrus,” Shepard said, leaning the butt of the rifle on her hip. “They seemed impressed.”

“Yeah, but,” Garrus countered, “I’ve actually seen you dance, Shepard. No comment.”

She shook her head and loaded the weapon. “Alright, Vakarian, you’re going down.” Garrus backed up, the bottle ready in his hand, as Shepard positioned herself on the edge.

“And don’t worry,” he said. “I’ve loaded it with practice slugs for…when you miss.” Shepard just shook her head and readied the rifle. Bouncing backwards, letting his arm pull back as far as he could, Garrus let loose on the bottle. It went flying at a surprising speed, but it wasn’t hard. Shepard almost laughed as she raised the rifle, scoped the bottle as it flew through the air, and shot with expertise. The bottle exploded into shining pieces that momentarily captured the light of the Citadel.

“That was an easy one,” Garrus said, turning to grab another bottle. “Let you build up your confidence. Long range? I wrote the book. Nobody alive can do this. Not even Commander Shepard.” He threw a new bottle her way and again she caught it easily. “Give me a tough one,” he said, taking the rifle from her. Garrus got in position and Shepard followed his previous throw, trying to go back even further than he had. She let loose like a canon, probably pulling something in her arm for her recklessness, and the bottle went flying. For a second she thought she’d hit a skycar, but only for a second. Garrus shot the bottle down just as easily as she had.

He laughed. “I said a tough one.” Shepard rolled her eyes at him and took the rifle from his hands.

“Step aside,” she said as he grabbed another bottle and she readied herself for another shot.

He gave her some time to prep, apparently feeling that this throw was going to be a beauty. Shepard readied the rifle and stared out into the Presidium’s light. Casting Garrus one little sideways glance she saw his face in some smirking expression. It was hard to read his emotions, but just that one glance, and the mood of the afternoon, forced her into a rash decision.

“Do it,” she said. Garrus threw the bottle, and Shepard watched it through the scope as easily as the other shots so far. But she missed. With a smile and a knowing gleam in her eye, she missed.

“I’m Garrus Vakarian and this is now my favourite spot on the Citadel!” Garrus cried out, celebrating like a teenage boy. It made Shepard smile wider than she had all day, but when he looked back at her she played off the grin as a tiny, annoyed admittance.

“It’s windy up here,” she complained half-heartedly, but Garrus’s boyish joy made it all worth it.

“There, there,” Garrus said, coming to her side and pulling her close. “It’s okay. I know there are…other things you’re good at.”

Shepard laughed but she nudged him away. “Come on, gimme another.”

“No way,” Garrus said. “I’m confidant in my abilities, but if you really think I’m going to test my luck you’re mistaken.”

“Someone nervous that it was just a fluke?” Shepard mused.

“Maybe,” Garrus said. “But with all joking aside, I have seen you shoot, and I do have to admit…it’s impressive.”

Shepard scoffed as if she was shocked. “Finally some honest answers.”

“Hey, I’m always honest with you,” Garrus said, stepping away to the cooler and grabbing out another bottle. “You just don’t ask the right questions.”

Shepard looked at the rifle in her hand. “I never know what to ask you. I’ve never understood the boundaries with us.” When she looked back up he was watching her curiously. She knew she had to explain. “When we first met, you were just a crew member. If I’m being honest, you were just a crew member until I didn’t see you anymore. I went off on my mission, and you went back to the Citadel, but I kept thinking of you. Finding you on Omega was just…” She drifted off and gave a breathy laugh.

“I was just as surprised to see you,” he said, walking towards her again while staring out at the view.

Shepard absently played with the sniper rifle as she spoke. “When you were injured,” she said quietly. “I felt like it was my fault.”

“You blame yourself for too much,” Garrus said, opening up the bottle of booze in his hand.

“Maybe,” Shepard said. “But I remember how panicked I was. I thought you were dead, and I realized then that…” He was looking at her intently, and she faltered for a moment. “I realized maybe there was…more.”

“So did you really just want to relieve some stress?” Garrus asked, tilting his head again as if he could dig his way into her thoughts.

She took a breath. “It was never about stress. If I’m being honest.”

Garrus sighed. “Glad it wasn’t just me then,” he said, relieved.

Shepard smiled and looked out at the Presidium. “But all I had was your dossier. And I was in Command, and it just would have gotten complicated if I…”

“I know,” Garrus said gently. “I think I knew then too. Always seems like there’s just too much riding on us for anything else.”

“And now?” Shepard asked, looking up.

Garrus gave a little chuckle and waved his hand out across the Citadel. “And now I just don’t give a damn.” She laughed and he looked back at her with love in his eyes. “How can you love a dossier, anyway?” he asked jokingly.

She shrugged and put the sniper rifle down. “I barely knew you when we were dealing with Saren and the Geth. You seemed like a bright-eyed, ‘I want to change the world’ type of kid.”

“Kid?” Garrus spat, turning to her as she chuckled. “Kid. I’m ‘kid’?”

“Back then you were,” Shepard smirked.

“Three years,” Garrus said. “Three years difference between us, and I’m a kid.”

Shepard kept laughing. “Well come on. You have to admit. You were rather starry-eyed and optimistic back then. When I found you on Omega, something had definitely shifted.”

Garrus took a swig from the bottle of booze he’d opened. “You’d died.”

Shepard’s smile dwindled down to a gentle little tug of her lips. Garrus seemed suddenly thoughtful, and it bothered her. She thought it was more than that. There was more than just her absence that had effected his change. He’d grown up in her eyes, but she knew that meant he’d seen some rough times. Fighting crime on Omega couldn’t be as glamorous as he always made it sound, and she missed two full years of his life. Sometimes he was too good at joking.

“So technically I’m still 29?” Shepard asked lightly, trying to brighten the mood she’d unintentionally dimmed.

She was glad when Garrus chuckled. “So we’re the same age then.”

“Almost,” she said with a shrug. “I thought you didn’t want to drink.”

Garrus looked at the bottle in his hand, turning it this way and that. “I’ll keep it casual. I’m celebrating my victory over you.”

Shepard sighed and walked behind him to the cooler. “Anything in here I can ingest?” she joked, kneeling down and rummaging around.

Garrus chuckled deeply and followed her to the cooler. “I didn’t really plan on drinking any of these, to be honest. I think my curiosity is getting the better of me now, though.”

Shepard looked up at Garrus as he bent over her. “Oh yeah? Bout what?”

“Well, if we’re making this official,” he said, “I feel like we should probably know as much about each other as we can. Could be our only shot.”

“Oh no, are we going to play 20 questions?” Shepard joked. “What’s your favourite colour? If you were stranded on a desert island—”

“Mm, well let’s start simple,” Garrus said, meandering over to the edge and sitting down. He patted the space next to him and Shepard walked over.

“You think sitting on the edge of the Presidium beam is simple?” she argued, but she sat down all the same.

“I was going more for simple questions,” Garrus explained. “For example, your mother?”

“My mother,” Shepard repeated.

Her silence made Garrus sigh. “Her name is?”

“Hannah,” Shepard chuckled. “Hannah Shepard. And my father was Donald Shepard.”

“Was?”

Shepard nodded.“Yeah.”

“Hm,” Garrus said with an absent nod. “When?”

“I was just accepted into N7 training,” Shepard said. “It still stings sometimes, but he wasn’t…well.”

Garrus nodded again. “Well. You know I lost my mother.”

“Yeah,” Shepard said. “But…your sister? And your father? Have you still not heard anything?”

“Solana apparently sustained an injury,” Garrus said. “But she and my father were waiting on a shuttle off Palavan, last I heard.”

“Garrus, that’s great,” Shepard said, putting her hand over his as it rested on his leg.

He gave something like a little smile and looked at her. “Some good news at last,” he said, but there was still the weight of doubt in his voice. Shepard wanted to be happy. She wanted this moment to stay as bright and cheerful as she could keep it, pristine like the shine of the Presidium.

“I think I know more about you than I expected,” she said. “But I want to be sure. I want to know whatever I can.”

Garrus leaned back on one arm. “Well, I don’t usually like to ruin my mysterious nature, but, for you, I’ll make an exception.”

Shepard matched his position and looked over the Citadel. Everyone was so calm here. The war hadn’t really touched it yet, and sitting here with Garrus, watching the light dim towards mock night, Shepard felt like it couldn’t touch them either. “So,” she said, scooting close to him and leaning her head on his shoulder. “What is your favourite colour?”


	2. A Shift of View

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Neither Garrus nor Shepard were ready to call it a day, not when they felt so free of the war and their troubles. And especially when they had somewhere private they could go.

Shepard loved how Garrus couldn't really smile, and yet it was there. She could hear it in his voice, through his chuckle, or the way he dropped his head and looked away. The plates above his eyes would rise up slightly, or he'd shake his head, and she could see-even if it wasn't really there-a grin on his mouth.

"My favourite colour," he mused after his deep rumbling laugh finally ceased. "As simple as that question is, I've never really given it much thought."

Shepard shrugged, keeping her head pressed against the hard metal of his shoulder. A quick thought ran through her head; she'd like him in casual clothes. She _liked_ him in casual clothes. She could remember the horrible awkwardness that had been months ago, before the Collector ship. Wine, music, and fancy dress. It was so unlike him, so soft, but she'd liked it.

"It's not really a question you have to think about," she said simply, drawing out the ease of the moment for as long as she could. Even feeling so relaxed, Shepard feared the return of tension. After all, there was so much weighing on them, even if it was in the background for the moment.

"Hm, I suppose..." Garrus began, drawing out his words in that way of his. He always spoke slowly, his diction precise...just another reason that voice so easily caught her attention. "Mmmmblue," he finished curtly.

Shepard laughed. "Of course it's blue."

He looked down at her, smirking up at him from his shoulder. "Of course? Why of course?" When she chuckled again he realized. "Ah. Its because of my armour isn't it. You know, C-Sec  _makes_ you wear blue."

"You're not in C-Sec anymore," Shepard argued.

He shrugged, making her head bounce. "So it grew on me." Garrus cast her a smouldering look. "Like you did."

When his voice purred like that it was hard to stay focused on just talking. Shepard looked away from him to hide what felt like an oncoming blush. It drove her insane that she blushed and he didn't. Then again, she could just as easily make him flustered, and that would have to suffice.

"So tell me," Garrus said, breaking the quiet with his usual bravado. "What is Commander Shepard's favourite colour. I'm guessing...red. Maybe...black."

Shepard rolled her eyes. "So stereotypical of you, Garrus. I expected better."

He cocked his head and stared down into her eyes. "You're right. Let me try again." He stared at her for a surprisingly long amount of time. They didn't share eye contact like this. It was always looking away or casting sideways glances or looking up through lashes.

Finally he spoke and finally he blinked. "Is it green?" Shepard's smile spurred him on. "But a dark green. I don't see you as the screaming neon most girls at Purgatory like to wear."

"You have me pegged, Vakarian," Shepard chuckled, looking out over the Citadel again and feeling a slight wave of dizziness with the height. Garrus had a way of making her forget where she was, and the height seemed to throw her off for a moment.

"Well, I at least know you're definitely not like most girls," Garrus purred, following her eyes and looking far down to the buildings below. "I'm definitely glad I finally came up here," he said with a sigh.

"It is quite the spot," Shepard said, pulling her head off him and leaning as far over as she dared.

Garrus was staring at her intently. "Never thought I'd feel such a panic at the sight of you leaning like that," he said, voice stiff.

Shepard looked back at him and pulled away from the edge. "You've been in all out warfare right beside me, and I've never seen you look concerned."

"You've never  _seen_ it," Garrus mused. "But trust me...it's there. I think now, after today, I may just throw myself in front of you from time to time."

Shepard raised one brow. "Regardless of what today proved, I'm still the best shot you've ever met."

Garrus chuckled and nodded his head slowly. "Oh I'm quite aware of that. I live in fear of the off-chance that I ever piss you off."

"So don't piss me off," Shepard said, leaning back on her elbows and staring up into the Presidium.

"I don't plan on it," Garrus said. He hesitated a moment. "But I wasn't making any kind of wise crack about your shooting, Shepard." He leaned back so he could catch her eyes with his. "I more meant that now...I want to keep you safe more than I've ever wanted to before."

Shepard's entire face went soft and slack, and she felt unusually aware of her heartbeat. The way he looked, and the sincerity in his voice, made it hard for her to find a joke or a smirk or anything but love. She knew then that today had changed it all. There was a shift in the way Garrus looked at her, and vice versa, that meant it would never be the same. They may joke and flirt and bicker as usual, but there would forever be more to it now. And it made her whole chest feel full of Helium and cotton.

"I think I'd rather put myself on the line than watch you suffer," Garrus said after a long pause. His voice kept bouncing between rugged and sarcastic to soft and delicate today, and Shepard's emotions were running all over the place trying to keep up. She'd be exhausted tonight just from spending this serious time with him. After all, this was the longest they'd spent in each other's company uninterrupted.

"Don't talk like that," she found herself saying. It burned to hear him practically threaten his own life for hers. She wanted him to want to live, but she wanted him to be confident in her abilities. "You know I can handle myself."

"Oh, I know it," Garrus agreed. "Doesn't mean it will stop me from panicking whenever I don't hear from you on a mission."

Shepard found a little smile. "Guess I better have you with me all the time then," she said.

He smiled that unseeable smile at her again. "How would that be any different from what you've been doing lately. Honestly, this is the longest break I've had from fighting by your side."

"Getting sick of me, Garrus?" she smirked.

"I don't think it's possible."

Shepard gave a soft half-smile as they continued to stare at each other. Finally, she broke first, and had to look away. "Just don't get over protective on me. I have a job to do. _And_ I'm your superior."

"Gonna have me fired for refusing to leave your side?" Garrus mocked.

Shepard nodded. "If I tell you to flank the enemy and you say you'd rather flank me, we're going to have a problem."

He laughed a good strong laugh, and Shepard couldn't help but feel proud about that. It was nice to make Garrus _really_ laugh, and she got the chance so rarely. The first time it happened they were in bed, in the aftermath of an awkward but eventually wonderful evening together, and she'd made some joke about human compliments. If her hair looked nice and her waist was supportive, then he was soft and handsome. Calling his rough body soft had made him laugh harder than she'd ever heard him laugh before, and to this day it was an inside joke. 

"I promise to try and remain soliderly," Garrus said after his laugh slowed to a rumble. "Just to be nice."

"To be fair," Shepard corrected. "You don't get special treatment now that you're my official boyfriend."

The word felt funny on her lips, and when she looked at Garrus she could see it felt funny to him too. "Hm. Boyfriend," he mumbled. "It sounds more juvenile than I think I want it to be. Can't I be your guardian or your significant other?"

Shepard wrinkled up her nose. "I think both of those sound much worse."

Behind them, a skycar sounded too close, and suddenly a loud siren went off. They both jumped and rushed to grab at their things, chuckling as they realized a C-Sec car was hovering behind them. "I take it back!" Shepard yelled as she threw the cooler box into their rented skycar. " _That_ sound is much worse!"

The sirens were still blaring as they jumped into the car. "Absolutely worth it!" Garrus said, launching off and ducking into traffic.

"Every minute," Shepard agreed, looking out the window to see the C-Sec car giving up. Obviously they were being let off with a warning, and obviously they weren't the first people to do this. Shepard hoped it wouldn't be the last time they went up here. The teenage girl still living somewhat in her heart decided to dub the spot _their_ spot.

They drove around for a little while, taking in the sights, trying to remember what it all looked like from high above. Shepard was too afraid to ask questions, even though she was dying to know as much as she could. She cast a glance at Garrus as he piloted the car, looking calm as usual. It made her smile, this simple moment. They weren't headed to some secret base to take out a bomb, or driving off to a barely habitable planet to investigate a missing patrol. There was no robotic voice spilling information into their ears, or extra teammates sitting in the backseat asking for clarification on this or that.

They were just driving.

"So, I'm letting the next part be up to you," Garrus said just before Shepard could find her own voice. "If you really want to go to the bar, I'm pretty sure I could make that work."

Shepard shook her head. "Nuh uh, mister," she said. "I have a feeling you'd get a few drinks into me then take me on the dance floor."

He seemed to think about that for a moment. "Could be interesting."

"No dancing," Shepard said as sternly as she could around her smirk.

Garrus nodded and turned off. "Alright, away from Purgatory we go." Shepard shook her head. "Any interests then?"

"How much time we got?" she asked.

"As much as you want," Garrus said, giving her a quick look with a casual wink.

She broached the subject cautiously. "Where do you stay when you're here on the Citadel?" she asked. "I know you've been spending time down with the refugees but..."

He shifted in his seat. "I actually still have my old apartment, back when I was in C-Sec. It's nothing special, but it's private."

"You had your own place?"

Garrus nodded. "My father, strict as he is, believed I could use my own space. Even as a military man, barracks never did it for him, and it was the same for me."

"Hm," Shepard said. "The Normandy must be fun for you then."

Garrus gave her a look. "Well, I think maybe I have another place to spend the night now."

"Finally going to move a cot into the Battery, huh," Shepard joked, crossing her arms over her chest.

He chuckled. "The thought has crossed my mind," he admitted. "But...I think you know what I mean."

"Gonna move in?" Shepard joked. "That's moving kind of fast, don't you think?"

His little silence worried her. "May not have much time to move slow," he said darkly.

Shepard sighed. "I don't want to do that," she said, making him give her a confused glance. "Let's stay as light as we can today. There's too much happening or maybe happening and...it'd be nice to be normal for once." She looked out the window after she finished speaking, somewhat afraid of the look Garrus might be giving her.

"Duly noted," he said, clearing his throat. "Keep to the good stuff. I like that. So...my place?"

Shepard's heart still felt oddly strained, but she gave a nod to him and he sped off. Things had definitely shifted today, but if she could make the easiness last just for a while, she would. The world was already too serious, but her relationship with Garrus was a seriousness she'd much rather bask in.

 


	3. Beyond the Soldier

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shepard and Garrus had never truly been together. It was tricky and difficult, and neither one of them knew exactly how the other one worked. If they were going to be serious, it was time to push past the flirty banter and really figure each other out.

Garrus's apartment was far off the beaten path of the Commons, hiding around other blocks yet right in the middle of the row. Leave it to Garrus to buy a place that was both difficult to find and easy to escape from. As they walked towards the door, Garrus's hand hovered lightly against Shepard's lower back, and she had her hands buried in the pockets of her sweater.

"Fair warning," Garrus started as he tapped in the doorcode on the security console. "I wasn't really expecting guests."

Shepard chuckled and looked up at him. "Afraid I may not like what I see?"

"As long as that doesn't apply to me," Garrus said, the door sliding open, "I really don't care."

She gave another light laugh as he motioned for her to step inside. The apartment was small, at least at first sight, and there were only two small windows on the far wall. Windows were a liability, and it made Shepard smile to see how she could find bits of Garrus's personality in the space right off. He would never live somewhere this busy and have that much open space. There was a nice wide kitchen off to the left, and a simple little sitting room to her right. A gigantic Vid screen was mounted to the wall, and Shepard cast Garrus a glance as he floated around behind her.

"So far so good," she said, taking her hands out of her pockets and meandering towards the kitchen. She found a few little dishes in the sink, and a bottle of something she probably couldn't drink left out on the counter. "Tsk tsk," she said, eyeing him as he eyed her. "Messy."

He leaned on one leg and scratched at the crests on his neck. "Well, like I said. I wasn't really expecting company."

"Still not as bad a bachelor pad as I expected," Shepard said, looking back around the small space casually.

"A what?" Garrus asked.

She was making her way across the room towards the rather uncomfortable looking couch. "Bachelor pad. The stereotype of bachelor living?"

Garrus gave a nod and came towards her slowly. "Ah. Must be a human stereotype." Shepard smirked. "And besides, I'm not really a bachelor."

Those words made Shepard's smile spread out across her face, but she turned away from him so he couldn't see. She didn't know why she wanted to hide how happy he always made her. Maybe she liked having the upper hand, or maybe she liked the way he tried to skirt around her so he could see her. When she did turn back around, Garrus was standing close, his armour brushing her arm. "Not a bad spot," she said quietly. "I like your taste."

"Mm," Garrus said in acknowledgment, clinking a little bit as he continuously moved forward. She could already tell he had other things on his mind.

Shepard raised her hand and put it softly on his chest. They both looked at her hand and she rapped against his armour, making it echo. He chuckled. "I suppose I am a little over dressed. I hadn't planned past the Presidium."

"It shows," Shepard mocked.

Garrus gave a little cough. "Why don't I go...put on something a little more-"

"-Comfortable?"

Garrus shook his head. "I was going to say casual so as to avoid the stereotypes, but...I'll leave the word choice up to you." He pulled back and headed towards a set of stairs Shepard hadn't noticed.

"Oh look," she said, crossing her arms and shifting her weight. "There's an upstairs."

Garrus turned back to her with one hand on the bannister. "Is that a hint that I should show you around?"

"Unless you're worried I'll be disappointed," Shepard said.

"Hmm, I suppose it's a risk I'll have to take if I want to get you to the bedroom," Garrus said, and Shepard had to control herself from launching forward eagerly. He beckoned her forward with an outstretched hand and she came towards him, letting her hand slip into his own. He led her for just a moment, but soon let her find her own way up the stairs. She was surprised to find a long hallway and two rooms, split up by a decent sized bathroom.

"I didn't think there would be this much space," she mumbled almost to herself. Garrus was watching her when she met his eyes next. "Spoiled?"

He chuckled. "At first that may have been the case, but...I can handle myself now. Not that I get paid much working with you," Garrus joked, slipping his arm around her waist as she investigated the shockingly clean bathroom. He pressed her close between his body and the doorframe, but her soft clothing and his heavy armour still didn't seem to work.

She cleared her throat and he remembered. "Right. Changing." He looked behind her. "Come on." Garrus took her hand once more and led her to his room, opening the door and letting her go inside first. The room was a decent size, and so...Shepard didn't know how to describe it. Garrus had a big bed, soft and unmade, strewn with pillows. In the corner there was a desk covered in files and papers, and a computer screen giving out a stable white light. Around the floor she saw clothes and tablets, thrown here and there with the same amount of indifference.

Everything was so...It was all so normal and manly. It was all so... _human_.

"Not what you expected?" Garrus asked, leaning in the doorway and watching as Shepard meandered around absently.

It felt so juvenile to be in his room, in his space...On the Normandy, his space was technically public. Any time she wanted to find him, she'd go to the Normandy's battery, but anyone could. There was no real privacy there, but it was always their space. Being here, knowing they were completely alone and totally forgotten about, made both Garrus and Shepard feel the effects of their relationship much more.

"I don't know if I'd say that," Shepard said, looking at a shelf above the desk, at the few little knick-knacks there. "It's..." She looked at him for a moment. "This is more of you than I've ever seen." Shepard made herself analyze his face, watching it for any change or any expression. The crests around his jawline moved just slightly, and he looked down at one of the many objects on the floor.

"Well let's try and change that then," Garrus said, coming towards her and brushing her hair from her cheek. "You already know my deepest, darkest secrets. May as well delve into the world of... _small talk_."

She laughed and shook her head at him. "Pretty sure we've small talked before. But we could afford to kick it up a notch."

Garrus looked around his room as he spoke. "See what you can find out then, and I'll be right back." She watched him back up, turn slowly, and clunk down the hall. She listened for the sound of a closing door before snooping. The knick-knacks on the shelf made her smile, because the most prominent one was a model of the Normandy she'd jokingly got him before being sent to Earth. She couldn't believe that was only about 6 months ago, but she could remember the strained stand-off they'd had at her departure. Nothing had been settled between them yet, and they'd both been too afraid to be the first to admit it. A month after she was gone, Garrus was sent to Palaven, and her messages were re-routed.

Next to the model was a picture frame. When Shepard stepped close, the screen blinked on, and she saw a glorious photo of Garrus and his family. He was young in it, she could tell. Just his height was enough to give it away. She'd never seen a young turian before, and it interested her greatly. Everything about him just looked smaller, so unlike human children in the sense that you could always guess a child's age from their looks. Shepard had no idea how to judge a turian's age.

It was a surprisingly nuclear family photo, with Garrus and his sister standing in front of their parents. Behind them was a great big ship, and Shepard thought she could recognize the docking bay of the Citadel. A family trip. She would have liked to meet his mother, but she was still terrified of his father. His disinterest in Spectres put her off, but she had hopes for Garrus's sister, Solana. She hoped she'd even get the chance to meet them.

They looked happy, and Shepard was just looking away from the photo when Garrus returned. She liked seeing him casual like this, wearing a simple suit of blue and yellow, and it made her smile. "Do you wear that underneath your armour?" she asked.

He spread his arms and looked down at himself. "Of course I do," he said, walking towards her. "Do you think I wear all that armour naked? No protective layer?"

"I figured your skin was the protective layer," Shepard said as he stopped next to her. "If it protects you from UV radiation, I figured you'd be safe from chaffing."

Garrus laughed. "Listen to you and your knowledge," he cooed, generally surprised. "As far as I know, you've never been to Palavan."

"Doesn't mean I can't read about turian biology," Shepard said, tilting her head to look up at him. "I was just admiring your family photo there."

"Hmm," Garrus sighed. "I had a feeling you would notice that. Out of everything in here, that _would_ be the thing you find."

"You were cute," Shepard said, turning to face him and lacing her hands up and behind his neck. She liked the way his body felt in simple cloth and not heavy armour. She could feel that he was warm, and even soft in places. It made him feel real to her; a person of flesh and blood that operated in somewhat the same way as she did. Even if she didn't know exactly how he worked, being able to feel him always made her feel closer to knowing.

"And I'm not now?" Garrus joked, holding her waist gently. She could barely feel the little pressure of his...well...his talons.

"Little tiny Garrus is a different kind of cute," Shepard decided.

"I was 11 there, thank you," Garrus defended. "Not exactly as little and cute as you think. I was a hellion."

Shepard nodded sarcastically. "Oh absolutely. I'm sure of it." She paused for a moment, looking into his face. "I still can't believe you age the same as humans."

He laughed. "That's an odd thing to find shocking."

"Not really," she said. "Asari live for centuries. Krogan too. It's nice to find an alien that doesn't think of me as a baby."

Garrus laughed. "I suppose that is a good point." Shepard didn't like the sudden pensive look his eyes took on. "I'm glad we age the same. I would hate to live hundreds of years without you."

Shepard pushed herself closer, as close as she could. It was sweet and scary the way he spoke about them as a couple. But what was really throwing her off was this lacking information she had. "I'm realizing now how little I know about you," she said softly, almost unwillingly. "Sometimes I realize how much of a stranger..." But she couldn't finish that sentence. It wasn't true, and yet sometimes it did feel like she and Garrus only had so much in common. She supposed that was the way it was with different species.

"And here I thought you looked comfortable," Garrus said a little sadly. "I liked the look on you."

Shepard had to admit that she did feel quite comfortable. In the privacy of Garrus's apartment anything could happen, and she wasn't afraid of that. "I am comfortable," she said confidently. "But are you sure it's not the fact that I'm standing here in ratty old clothes because I didn't care what I looked like today?"

He gave a little laugh. "Well, I happen to think you always look beautiful," he said, tightening his hand on her waist.

"You don't even know what that is," Shepard said. "Human beauty at least."

"So?" Garrus asked. "You don't know what turian beauty is, do you?" 

Shepard smirked. "Actually," she said, pulling back from him a bit and looking sly. "I sort of do."

"Hmm, do you now?" Garrus mused, pulling at her, trying to keep her close. 

She smiled. "I read a paper about you," Shepard said.

"A paper," Garrus said, looking at her nervously. "On me?"

"Well, on turians," she corrected. "I got a little curious one night, especially after all _your_ research." 

Garrus shook his head. "Of which I did very little," he argued. "In all honesty, we've been pretty casual up till now."

Shepard gave a little nod and looked down slightly. They'd had their fun...great fun...but he was right. Neither of them had been brave enough to bite the bullet and give a full "bonding" a try. They hadn't had the time or the care to really understand it, and if they were being honest, there were some danger factors they would need to take into consideration. Garrus always spoke as if he knew more than she did, about the way she worked in those regards. One night she'd felt the need to try and match him, but she hadn't got very far. Shepard's minuscule research had really only taught her about what to expect from a courting male turian; she hadn't had the courage, even alone, to investigate further. Some of the facts seemed surprisingly accurate, while some she wondered if he'd curbed for her, but being in private here with him sparked her curiosity up again.

"I just wanted to learn a few of your...tricks," Shepard said.

"Can't have you knowing all the facts about me," Garrus said. "Where would the mystery be?"

Shepard gave him a raised brow look. "At this point, I think we need to maybe get past the idea of being mysterious with each other." She reached up and brushed her fingers along the crests on his neck. They shifted under her fingers, making her heart hammer with an unknown sensation. "I bet you know more about my biology than I know about yours. I seem to recall someone did research long ago about _my_  species." 

He chuckled as she held him close, but Shepard could tell his nerves were flaring up. "That was necessary research. You wanted to relieve stress," he said with brief little cough.

"Maybe this was necessary too," Shepard said, her voice incredibly alluring and full of hints. "Besides, I'm sure you looked up more than we actually did."

"Mmhmm," Garrus mumbled, but he seemed skeptical of Shepard and her new found knowledge. He pulled away from her just slightly. "So biology, huh?"

"No, actually. Not much," Shepard assured. "More...courtship."

Garrus shook his head. "Well that sounds like it could be worse. I haven't exactly been sticking to the code, if you're rating this experience on turian practices."

"I haven't been," Shepard said with a shrug, letting her hands slide down from his neck to his hips. "But I was surprised by how many of those practices you'd been doing. If I'd known, I would have been able to figure out you liked me much sooner."

Garrus chuckled. "I think you knew. I'm not what one would call subtle. But tell me," he said, finding a bit of his bravery once again. "What did you find out?"

Shepard smirked and backed out of his arms, walking towards the bed and having a cautious seat. It was much more comfortable than she'd expected. For some crazy reason, she thought his mattress would be hard. She sunk into the bed and he leaned on the desk, watching her like she was going to give him a lecture.

Shepard cleared her throat, and Garrus prepared himself for what would be either awkward, hilarious, or both.

"Fringes," Shepard said.

Garrus looked away, shook his head, then looked back. "Fringes."

"Yes, fringes," Shepard said, leaning back on her hands and watching him watch her.

"And what about them?"

"They're meant to attract," Shepard said. "Based on size and colour. But they're also protection. And females want long ones, whereas yours-" she pointed at Garrus's head "-are meant to be more...colourful. Apparently they illuminate but I've yet to see that."

"And you won't," Garrus said, trying to pride himself on his own knowledge of his species. "I doubt any human alive has the capacity to physically see that."

Shepard nodded. "Aah, I see. That was not mentioned. But apparently you... _boys_...particularly posture yourself to show them off."

He laughed hard for a moment. "So I'm a show off now?"

"And that's another one," Shepard said, smiling. "Showing off or fighting. You absolutely show off, that's your best trait. And you do fight me in a sort of adapted sense."

"When have I ever fought you?" Garrus asked.

Shepard laughed. "So not arguing with the show off part?"

"I can agree to that," Garrus admitted, crossing his arms over his chest. "With the skills I have, why wouldn't I try and use them to impress. It worked, didn't it?"

Shepard gave a slow nod. "Alright, you get away with that one. The fighting part, although we don't 'spar'-"

"-Because I'd win."

"-manifests itself in other ways."

"Like?" Garrus pried, clearly not buying it. 

"What do you call our little shooting match?" Shepard asked. "I'd say that's the equivalent, no?"

"Hm, maybe," Garrus purred. "And I won."

Shepard laughed and looked down at her legs, hanging off the bed just slightly. She could hear him move towards her, and when she looked up he was kneeling down in front of her. Whenever he was this close it always threw her off. She talked a big act, and she knew he did too, but he really did always win. "And what else then?" he asked, his voice so deep that she swore she could hear it vibrate in his throat.

She was going to say something foolish, but her attention was caught by the visible crests on his neck. She grinned as she noticed they were just slightly lifted. "Your crests," she said bravely.

"Mmm," Garrus acknowledged, still feeling like he had the upper hand. "Which ones?"

"The ones on your neck," Shepard said without even a blink.

She was rewarded with an expression of shock. "Most people don't even notice those."

"Well out of your armour I can see them clearly," Shepard said. "And I'm not most people."

"And I'm incredibly close to you," Garrus said, tilting his head and watching for her reaction.

"And," Shepard said confidently, "I can tell you're interested." The words in and of themselves were simple and straightforward, but the way Shepard said it carried an amazing amount of weight. Garrus now knew for sure just how much Shepard had learned, and he blinked at her very slowly. He couldn't focus enough to lower his crests, and after a moment he sighed.

"Damn," he breathed, and Shepard leaned forward and placed a gentle kiss on his mouth. 

"Look at that," she said, pulling just far enough back so that she could speak. "Guess I finally figured out how to make a turian blush."

 


	4. The Next Level

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Biology wasn't exactly something Garrus and Shepard were good at talking out. With Garrus easily flustered, and Shepard sadly unknowledgeable, it would take a lot of determination for the two of them to finally move past the slow stuff. Even if it was awkward or embarrassing at first, they were surely willing.

Shepard sat very still for a long time, watching Garrus watch the floor. Arms crossed, leaning on the little desk he had in his room, it almost seemed like he forgot she was there. Shepard herself was finding this almost amusing, leaning forward and pressing her hands into the edge of his mattress. She started wondering what was going through that head of his, and even through the little budding smirk on her face she was starting to get concerned. He'd been silent for a long time. Ever since she'd mentioned it.

"Unless you don't want to," Shepard finally said quietly, hoping for an immediate reaction.

His hesitation worried her further. "No that's...not it," Garrus said, still unable to meet her eyes. "Ever since we met I've been trying to figure out how we could...I mean with all my research I never wanted to presume anything but...I can admit it was always on my mind."

That's more like it, Shepard thought to herself, wishing for a moment that she'd looked into this even at all. A lot of her own research had been about biology in the "functioning" degree. What he could eat, how she could help him if he was sick or injured...She'd only gotten so far into the private sphere.

 _They'd_  only got so far into the private sphere. They had always managed to enjoy each other without getting too intense, and neither had ever complained about their activities. Even without really getting into it they'd had to guide or explain for the other. Clothes were worn pretty fully every time. Once, Garrus had allowed her to remove his top, and she'd allowed him the same. That was about as close to true intimacy they'd gotten.

"So...?" Shepard pressed, trying to keep her voice down and calm as if she could startle him like a deer.

Garrus still looked away. "Mmm I don't know, Shepard," he said. "There's a lot of ways it could go horribly wrong."

"I know," Shepard said with a shrug. "But if we talk about it...Communicate..."

He sighed and she fought the urge to roll her eyes.

She stood up. "Are you afraid for me? Or for yourself?" Shepard asked, standing before him and trying to force his eyes to hers. She didn't want to push him too far, and it concerned her seeing him so cautious about something he was always so easy to joke about. 

"It's not a fear," Garrus defended. "At least not really."

"Well what, then? Do you think we're under preapred?" Shepard asked.

Garrus shook his head. "I think I need a drink if we're going to talk about this," he said, looking towards the bedroom door.

Shepard backed up. "I'm sure you've done enough research," she said, almost trying to bait him.

Garrus sighed yet again, still looking towards the door. "Oh I can bet I've done enough research," he said with a rumble. Shepard had to admit he sounded confident about that, at least enough that it wasn't the reason. "Im fairly certain I could make it happen without an issue..."

"Well?" Shepard asked with a smirk, skirting around him slightly to force his gaze.

He dropped his eyes. "But you know nothing about me," he said stiffly.

Shepard nodded. "So you're worried about me doing something wrong?"

He shook his head and stood up a little straighter. "No! No, Shepard, that...that's not what I mean."

For a moment he finally looked at her, and in those blue eyes of his she couldn't find an answer. There was nothing but a stare, strong but blank. It wasn't until he looked away, then quickly back, and then away again, that Shepard finally realized.

"You're embarrassed," she said in a near whisper.

He tried to laugh it off, reaching a hand up and scratching the crests along his jaw. "Well, it's not as if you'd really know what you're doing or...seeing. I just think that maybe...there's some gaps...in your knowledge that...could leave you startled."

Shepard reached up and put a hand over his babbling mouth. His skin was halfway between soft and rough, but he was always warm. He stared down at her as her fingers kept him quiet. "Let's have that drink."

\--

"So what's it like then?" Shepard asked, a nearly empty glass in her hand. Garrus had been keen on the drink aspect, regardless of his prior desire to keep his head. Neither of them had really expected to get this far, so a little replanning was in order.

Luckily, Garrus had a bottle of human-ingestible rum buried in a cupboard. Some innocent and naive citizen had given it to him as gift for helping him out, and Garrus hadn't had the heart to give it away or correct the poor man. So there it sat on a shelf, until Shepard discovered it.

Garrus shook his head and leaned further across the counter at her. She was perched on something like a bar stool at the counter of his kitchen, watching him get steadily more intoxicated. He held his liqueur well, however, something they didn't share in common. Shepard was already a loose canon after two drinks.

"What's it  _like_?" Garrus asked, almost laughing. "You can't just be that blunt about it."

"Yes I can," she argued half-heartedly. "You're drunk enough to explain it."

He laughed. "From what I've seen," Garrus started very slowly, keeping his eyes down on the table top. "In all my research...it's somewhat...similar."

Shepard was holding back a wide grin. "Somewhat?"

He shrugged his shoulders. "I suppose with some serious differences. But biologically...it functions about the same."

Shepard smirked. "So where is it?"

He sighed and shook his head again, looking down at the counter with his crests going haywire. Shepard loved that she'd finally figured out how to throw him off enough to make him, well...blush. So to speak.

"It's...protected," he said at last.

"Protected."

Garrus met her eyes briefly. "Ours don't just...hang there all the time." She laughed and he stood up a little straighter and looked away. "I knew this was a bad idea," he mumbled, taking a swig from his glass and staring out the tiny window.

"Alright, so what about..." Shepard mused, pointing her finger up and down his frame as if that would clarify what she was asking.

"What about...?" Garrus prompted, though he still sounded somewhat unwilling.

"Testicles?"

He sighed long and hard again and went back to his leaning position across from her, looking down as she chuckled. "Those too," he finally said.

"That's...interesting," Shepard said, nodding slowly and draining her cup.

"What can I say," Garrus joked. "I'm aerodynamic."

Shepard burst into laughter and Garrus turned around to pour himself another drink. He topped her glass up too as she finished her immature giggling, shaking his head all the while.

After she caught her breath, Shepard leaned on her elbows. "So it...shows up when you're interested?"

"No," Garrus clarified after another sip from his glass. "Only when I want it to."

Shepard raised her brows. "You got human males beat there," she said.

"So I've discovered," he said, watching her swirl her drink around before taking a small sip. He took a few steadying breaths before finding the embarrassing words in the back of his throat. "It's barbed." 

Shepard's head snapped up and she stared at his suddenly serious face. "What?"

He gave a mini sigh of something like shame. "It's barbed.  _That's_ why I've...why it's been so hard for me to just...for us..."

Shepard watched his face for a moment, trying to register what this meant. Why were they talking about it if it clearly couldn't happen? And how in the hell did female turians work? She looked down into her glass and pursed her lips. "So...can we even?"

She didn't have to be looking at him to know his eyes were away from her too. "There are tools. I mean ways that people have...figured out. To make it work but...I don't know how reliable or..."

"Comfortable?" Shepard asked, looking up at the same time his head turned back to her. They shared a look for a moment, and something like seriousness passed between them, but Shepard's lips slowly twisted into a smirk, and soon they were chuckling. It was so easy suddenly to just blow it all off, no matter what they'd just been discussing. No one had answers yet, but the moment and the booze and their whole relationship was just suddenly funny to them.

But Garrus's laughter slowed. "Do you ever wish," he started, waiting for Shepard to look at him, "that I was human?"

Her eyes widened. She'd never thought about that before. Garrus being human was so far from her mind when she was around him. It never mattered. "No," she said slowly. 

"But it would be easier," he said, as if trying to convince her that she must wish that.

Shepard shook her head. "I don't care about easiness, I care about you." He gave one of his hidden expression smiles, and she reached for his cheek. Her fingers met his skin with complete and utter confidence. She could remember when she was unsure of touching him, of whether or not she would like it, or whether or not the texture would be uncomfortable. Now? Now she just loved to see his eyes light up at her caress. 

"I love you for  _you,"_ she went on. "And that means every part of you. Not just who you are inside, but outside. I can't even imagine you as a human. I think I'd hate it."

Garrus chuckled low and deep, reaching up to cover her hand with his own. "Well, I'm glad I have such a positive effect on you. Even if I'm..."

She shook her head at him before he could insult himself. "You act like you're the inconvenience. I'm sure this isn't what you're used to either," she said, gesturing to herself vaguely with the hand that held her glass.

He leaned closer, almost sprawled across the countertop. "But I like it," he purred.

Shepard grinned like a well-worn Purgatory girl. "Vice versa, Vakarian." 

 


End file.
